Scioly Assassination 123: He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

[Anomaly]

UTF's been active since the game ended, why hasn't he written the ending and chosen the new sassy? Can the new game start soon before school starts please?

Time to go spam a certain someone...

[Things2do]

UTF's been active since the game ended, why hasn't he written the ending and chosen the new sassy? Can the new game start soon before school starts please?

Wouldn't it be pb5754[] choosing the next Sassy?

[dxu46]

UTF's been active since the game ended, why hasn't he written the ending and chosen the new sassy? Can the new game start soon before school starts please?

Wouldn't it be pb5754[] choosing the next Sassy?

whoops, edited

[Assassinator]

the cops were after me
they led me into a dark alley
they were out to get me
the voices in my head were right
I tripped onto the ground
I could hear a heartbeat da dum da dum da dum
they were getting closer
I wanted to run
I couldn't
one of them grabbed me by the shirt
I wanted to get on my feet
I couldn't
I pulled out a weapon
I got hit
I wanted to live
I couldn't
bury me and put flowers over my grave
goodbye

The solutions to the clues and ID clues will be posted when I get around to it.
pb5754[], PM me your choice.

[pb5754]

Aah finally! My pick for the next sassy has been sent.

[UTF-8 U+6211 U+662F]

The clues were designed to start easy and progressively get more difficult, but this backfired after the third clue was already found to be too difficult. Most of the clues had two small ID hints.

wake up to the smell of the roses officers a piece of paper with a little end attached has been left on your desks
the end has an encoded message:
roots say

"roots say" was an anagram for syoastro.
"Encoded" and "little end(ian)" are both references to file encoding.

they've solved the code... that's a good point... they figured out syo_astro... they got us... us? this was all your fault
no I let them win
[an audible sigh] let's just move on
thistles and waterlilies and edelweiss, narcissuses and tansies and yarrows, sage and evening primroses and clovers, orchids and nerines and dahlias, o they're all greek to me
that's a horrible code
oh be quiet we don't need to fill a page with the clue
no you shut up
stop it
I can see the flowers

The first letters of each of the flowers spells out twenty-second, which combined with the word Greek leads to TheChiScientist.
"code . . . point" and "code . . . page" are also both references to file encoding.

what's that thing
is it a robot
no it doesn't look like one... a beaver maybe
you idiot that's not his head
what
where you're looking that's not his head
that's his head over there
ohh what is it then
imbecile we're spying on TheChiScientist remember
sorry he looked like a beaver to me... or a woodchuck what's the difference anyway
shut up he's awake
he was waiting for us
with a gun
let's go
aren't we slipping the note in first
yes put it in his mailbox come on let's go all right I'm putting it in put it in faster he's getting up I'm out of here faster than a cheetah I think he's coming over no don't leave me here it's too late I'm already gone

as dawn comes the sunflowers wake, and point comically to dramatically across the graves where little lacy losses were o'erpaved, and dirty cads were overturned that men buried to lay (Click to Show Hidden Text)

db6a87c4537cda84
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d2b32bed7b5cabc9

The code is a one-time pad. The hexadecimal code, when converted to pixels, yields a picture: . This picture xor'd with the given picture yields: , which points to kate!.
The conversation is a reference to Bionic Beaver, alluding to this post. The "four-panel" style hide text is a reference to this poll; notice specifically "comically to dramatically", "loss", and "cad".

Local officer kate! was found amidst a pile of apple seeds this morning. Forensic investigator pikachu4919 states that she died from arsenic poisoning. The murderer and motives are currently unknown, but the local police bureau states that...(continued on page 5)

where do you want me to put the note
Just anywhere. anywhere.
in my pocket?
No, not in your pocket, you imbecile. Sometimes, I think you do this on purpose.
ouch why'd you taze me
You know why.
why
Why I ought to... I ought to bury you so far no one will ever find you—
huh?
—and I'm going to bury you alive and every shovel of dirt'll be a little closer to do you in—
no please
—and I'll leave you without air to breathe so that you'll die a slow and painful death; you'll fall unconscious; you'll lose your will within a minute—
no stop
—and that'll be the end of it, and I'll rest in peace, finally!
no I'm sorry I'm sorry
You better be sorry. Now leave that note in the station—they'll find it there.
right

he's the small thomas jefferson, the unprofessional servant, Smaller! Smaller! WE'RE DOING A WHEELIE

Note: Changed the ordering of some words but it shouldn't matter

The clue is a reference to the phrase "big cheese", targeting cheese.

• Thomas Jefferson received a big block of cheese from Cheshire, Massachusetts.
• According to wiktionary, "big cheese" was first used to mean importance in the short story Unprofessional Servant, which incidentally does not exist.
• "Smaller" as a reference to big cheese
• "Wheel" of cheese

The extensive use of em dashes is a reference to this post. The rest of the conversation is a reference to Fossils and Circuit Lab, the two events whose question marathons I started.

Civilian cheese was found dead among the dandelions in his backyard. Neighbors question whether this could have been a parenting issue. Cheese's father replied angrily that, "When it comes to parenting, I may not be the best, but I'm darn gouda." Investigators have yet to determine a cause for this untimely death. Could there be a trend...(continued on page 4)

Two down, so many to go. Yes, yes, yes. So many left to stop and smell the flowers.

That mean old "sturdy fix ox" is next.

Sincerely,
axe axe a tern, apologize a tern, arctic tern

"sturdy fix ox" is an anagram for dxufortysix.
The quote as well as "arctic tern" are references to Whose Line Is It Anyway? Axe axe a tern and apologize a tern are mondegreens for acciaccatura and appoggiatura, a reference to the superlative Most Musical.

In an early announcement, dxu46 lives. He is abducted at night and in the morning appears hypnotized. He comes back to the police station with a note and repeats, unoriented band ian wisdom unoriented band ian wisdom unoriented band ian wisdom. He soon snaps out of it.

There is something about this case that gives you the feeling that you have a week. Ain't you proud, hon? No more crow pot kins for you.

The repeated text is a reference to the Mobian tree of wisdom (three is a near-homophone for tree), a tree in the Sonic the Hedgehog comic series, pointing to Tailsfan101.
Proudhon and Kropotkin were both prominent anarchist philosophers, referencing the #anarchyw channel on irc.chat4all.net:6667 (the same IRC server that #scioly is on), the latter being the author of The Conquest of Bread, the book that the channel is based on.

[UTF-8 U+6211 U+662F]

Honorable mention for top tier officer clue solving:

Except the communism part could refer to being the "Biggest Grammar Nazi"...

Makes sense because of how many communists the Nazi killed.

The Assassinator arrives perfectly on time... (apparently no one noticed I gave you a week).

Tailsfan101 has been shielded from my dagger. I am not dxu46. The sun is setting. There is something in the air. Another note:

late for the concours d'elegance almost there program 512 yes that's right program 512 I AM I AM I AM.... almost there ... no still a long way to go I'll never get there in time ... way late now

Over in the distance, the sun sets its eyes under the spreading chestnut tree. Goodbye.

A reference to the Greenwich concours d'elegance in 2017, ergo PM2017 (Prime Meridian 2017). 512 was in the file name of one of the handouts on the website. Admittedly, this clue was hastily botched together.
I AM is a reference to my username. The spreading chestnut tree is, among other things, featured prominently in 1984, which I mention in this post (in fact, every topic mentioned in that post was an ID clue for this game.

PM2017 cried out searching for an answer but he found four more now his grave is covered in forget-me-nots and old old birds and I say I am second to right the next

Two more days

Four more than an answer (42) is 46. dxu46 was the target.
Old old birds is a reference to the black and white bird in my profile picture. "Second to [write]" is a reference to the Scioly Superlatives.

what do we do with his body
feed him to the hasbeghangrylabgpbybenqbfbzrjurerarnegurhgnuobeqre plant
ahahaha you monster
no you're the monster
look it ate him E6DAA6whole
how long did that take
I think 101 no 102 no 103 no 104 somewhere between 105 and 106 seconds
a new record!!!
still a little slow if you ask me

editing ~ I'll give you slowpokes 4 days this time to make up for my hour early post which I now just realized I made

The plant is a ROT13 cipher for "unfortunately not Colorado somewhere near the Utah border" which is Things2do's location.
Between 105 and 106 is a reference to be me being Assassinator for game 105.5. E6DAA6 is a reference to this post.

there once was a things2do
who liked to eat peas out of a shoe
but then there was a fire
and much to the man's ire
the peas learned how well to chew

y'all seem to be having trouble so let me throw you a bone

The next target is whythelongface.

this clue is so easy that there aren't even any id hints in it

Targeting whythelongface.
There were no id hints.

whythelongface has been successfully protected! but now there's a sinister light and red lights glow in the dark... on the top of a mountain stack... a curse is in the air for 1000 years... [maniacal laughter] hask hask hask hask hask hask cough cough excuse me I have allergies

038 is Ninetale's pokedex number, and the rest of the text is taken from the Bulbapedia.
Stack is a reference to my listed website being Stack Overflow, and "hask" is a reference to this post.

Citizen Tailsfan101 was found sleeping in the street. After numerous attempts to shoo him away, the officers finally realized that he was dead. An ongoing investigation has found no traces as to the killer, although the investigators may be preoccupied...(continued on page 62)

Therce's nothing wrong with being cholor blind you know... in fact mainy color blind people soar like a bird into the world... many turtless are ccolor blind too... thiough no one is as blind as you...

Bread bread? Bread. Bread bread! Bread bread bread bread bread! B! R! E! A! D! Bread!

you know I was runner up for this award... could've gotten it if I tried... just look back two and see...

The misspellings spell out "chisci", pointing to TheChiScientist.
"Color blind" and "bird" are references to my profile picture again. "Turtles" is a reference to my work on the Herpetology List Wiki page for Crocodilians & Turtles (mainly turtles). Bread is a reference to The Conquest of Bread. Runner up is a reference again to the Scioly Superlatives. Look back two means look back two pages for the other referenceoh, and the next assassinator joined after 2016.

Kind of sad this game didn't get as much attention. No one was even pestering me to post the clue explanations!

[Things2do]

Did edits 5 and 6 have anything to do with my death?

[UTF-8 U+6211 U+662F]

Did edits 5 and 6 have anything to do with my death?

No.