Scioly Assassination 135: A Series of Unfortunate Non-Harmless April Fool's Day Pranks

[Assassinator]

I was afraid that I'd double post today and express my disappointment in y'all's lack of effort. Ah well, I'll save that for another time if it happens again.

April 1, 12:35 A.M.

I called Insomnia Cookies to place an order. Man, their desserts are amazing. Meanwhile, I tried to see if I could rewire this one set of lights on a house nearby so that it would perpetually be flashing in a scary manner. Like if the demogorgon was coming. As I was about to put the finishing touches on my plan, a short circuit like no other occurred and flames started grow. Afraid of what would happen if the police were called to the area, I cut the nearby telephone lines to prevent anyone from calling 911. As the inferno raged, I ran away, quickly called Insomnia Cookies again, and asked them to redirect the delivery address to a spot far away from what I had just done.

CookiePie1 is dead.

Incoming call! Could it be the delivery guy?
"Hi there, I've got your cookies and I'm about two minutes away from where you asked us to deliver to"
"OK, I'll be there soon"
"You haven't paid yet, you seemed in a rush. You can pay by card if you can tell me your card number and I'll relay it back to the store"
"OK, just a second..."

I pull out my orange credit card. The number...the number...885737885737...argh, the last digits seem to be unrecognizable to me in the dim light since the paint on them has been rubbing off for a while. I dig for cash as a backup but also hope the delivery guy might have some kind of thing that can accept my payment on the spot. I accidentally click the dial keypad as I instead try to record the first bunch of numbers before shining my phone light on the last four.

-72 hours-

P.S. My previous clues up to this point have actually been kind of simple. Just saying. This is where the fun begins.

[JoeyC]

Dang, my sassy's got a 60% kill rate. That's deadlier than small pox, which had a 1 out of b221ase 3 kill rate!
Yeah!

[Crimesolver]

wow we're terrible at this
OK has been capitalized every time he(?) said it.
he shines a light on the last four number - 5737
his credit card is orange, probably something important since he specified

[Creationist127]

I was afraid that I'd double post today and express my disappointment in y'all's lack of effort. Ah well, I'll save that for another time if it happens again.

April 1, 12:35 A.M.

I called Insomnia Cookies to place an order. Man, their desserts are amazing. Meanwhile, I tried to see if I could rewire this one set of lights on a house nearby so that it would perpetually be flashing in a scary manner. Like if the demogorgon was coming. As I was about to put the finishing touches on my plan, a short circuit like no other occurred and flames started grow. Afraid of what would happen if the police were called to the area, I cut the nearby telephone lines to prevent anyone from calling 911. As the inferno raged, I ran away, quickly called Insomnia Cookies again, and asked them to redirect the delivery address to a spot far away from what I had just done.

CookiePie1 is dead.

Incoming call! Could it be the delivery guy?
"Hi there, I've got your cookies and I'm about two minutes away from where you asked us to deliver to"
"OK, I'll be there soon"
"You haven't paid yet, you seemed in a rush. You can pay by card if you can tell me your card number and I'll relay it back to the store"
"OK, just a second..."

I pull out my orange credit card. The number...the number...885737885737...argh, the last digits seem to be unrecognizable to me in the dim light since the paint on them has been rubbing off for a while. I dig for cash as a backup but also hope the delivery guy might have some kind of thing that can accept my payment on the spot. I accidentally click the dial keypad as I instead try to record the first bunch of numbers before shining my phone light on the last four.

-72 hours-

P.S. My previous clues up to this point have actually been kind of simple. Just saying. This is where the fun begins.

...It seems we have been reading into the clues a bit too much, and they are simpler than we thought. Unfortunate, though hopefully they'll be deeper now. Plugging 885737 into the URL at the top (directs you to a post) doesn't yield anything, and plugging in 5737 leads me to the 5,000 Post Thread, a now defunct Posting Game. The post is simply "406", written by a haven chuck, who appears to have been last active in 2011. I am probably going too far already, but could it be a connection with the number? Is 885737885737 maybe a cipher? (It's not a direct letter --> number cipher, at least according to dCode) Anyone know what a demogorgon is? Could that be part of the clue?
At any rate, ID could be "y'all" --> from the South; rewiring lights --> Circuit Lab? (Possibly a failure at Circuit Lab?)

[TheCrazyChemist]

...It seems we have been reading into the clues a bit too much, and they are simpler than we thought. Unfortunate, though hopefully they'll be deeper now. Plugging 885737 into the URL at the top (directs you to a post) doesn't yield anything, and plugging in 5737 leads me to the 5,000 Post Thread, a now defunct Posting Game. The post is simply "406", written by a haven chuck, who appears to have been last active in 2011. I am probably going too far already, but could it be a connection with the number? Is 885737885737 maybe a cipher? (It's not a direct letter --> number cipher, at least according to dCode) Anyone know what a demogorgon is? Could that be part of the clue?
At any rate, ID could be "y'all" --> from the South; rewiring lights --> Circuit Lab? (Possibly a failure at Circuit Lab?)

The area code 737 gives Austin, Texas. One, I'm a complete fail at circuit lab and I recently (kinda) posted about it in some forum (I forget). Two, I recently kinda made fun of Anomaly on the Pennsylvania forum about using y'all, so there's that. Also Anomaly does codebusters, so maybe that relates to the hardness of clues hint. I dunno anything anymore. Also, if anybody wants to protect me because I've been annoying to the Assassinator and I'm terrible at circuit, that's fine. You know. That's all I've got on this (I'm clearly terrible.) Also, note how the pattern 885737 repeats 2 times.
EDIT: Insomnia Cookies is actually a thing. They are based in New York and Philadelphia, with their HQ in NYC. Most are in NYC. There's even one in New Haven, CT(for reference, that's where Yale is), and even I didn't know about this store. Maybe the Assassinator lives in the Northeast or close the Philadelphia/Hoboken, since Insomnia Cookies has a shop there. Also, I don't know any middle schoolers who have credit cards, so Div. C?

[TheCrazyChemist]

Wait a minute, I just realized that Creationist127 does sounds of music, thermo and circuit. And from what I've seen, s/he seems pretty well versed in cracking these sorts of things. No offense Creationist127, but everyone's under suspicion, including me.

[Creationist127]

Wait a minute, I just realized that Creationist127 does sounds of music, thermo and circuit. And from what I've seen, s/he seems pretty well versed in cracking these sorts of things. No offense Creationist127, but everyone's under suspicion, including me.

No offense taken--but consider that I have never been an officer before, and have only been following three-ish sassy games. From an outsider's point of view, it would seem unlikely that I am a sassy at my level of experience. (Not to mention, the sassy being an officer in their own game? How often does that happen?)
I see what you mean, though--an interesting coincidence. My point is, it's probably not wise to waste an accusation on me--especially considering the high kill count already.

(P.S. I am a guy.)

[JoeyC]

(also why all the long sentences?)

[Creationist127]

(also why all the long sentences?)

[shrug] I'm a little wordy. Sorry, lol.
EDIT: Also I happen to be writing an English paper simultaneously with watching this forum, so my brain is kind of in English Paper mode...

[pikachu4919]

Credit cards have 16 digits. Only 12 were discernible according to the clue.