Strange Things You Never Thought You Would Hear (With No Context)

[LittleMissNyan]

"[mr coach] can you please tell [brother] to stop vandalizing the sheet just because I made it or I will stab him with a ukulele and a breadstick"

[kleinerPanzer]

"Who are you!? You're not the Golgi Apparatus..."

[BennyTheJett]

"KONSERVAT OR KONZENTRAT BENNY THESE ARE IMPORTANT QUESITONS"

edit: "Benny, you are an awful keyboardist."

[NeBH]

"...Rasputin was consumed by the RedVines..."

[cards104171]

Human: “What are you expecting me to say? ‘I got all A’s and good grades and am gonna get 100% on the next test. Fear me?’”
Another human:
Human:
Another human: “Yes”
Human:
Human: “I got all A’s and good grades and am gonna get 100% on the next test. FEAR ME.” I've read through too many interesting conversations

[thegroundsloth]

If you put your phone in the oven the level goes down significantly

_{no phones were harmed in the making of this comment}

[builderguy135]

I'm not going to mine a chunk right now.

[kleinerPanzer]

“they use two regular guys to build one Yao Ming”

[RiverWalker88]

The lights are in eternal meditation! That's why the temperature scanner hasn't gotten us yet.

[Things2do]

A: "What are you doing?"
2: "{While leaning around A.} Trying to sniff your tuna."