How to take over the world

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How to take over the world

Post by EpicFailOlympian » June 20th, 2010, 3:26 pm

Overview:
Global domination has been a worthy goal throughout the history of mankind. A few noteworthy historical figures have tried but no one has managed to rule the entire world. The technological advances in communications and travel once again bring the thoughts of ruling the world to power-hungry despots everywhere. Remember to watch your competition because everybody wants to rule the world.

Step 1
Gain control of your own country. Anoint yourself ruler and immediately take command of all military resources. Use the military to commandeer all of the country's financial resources. Be somewhat benevolent or you may find yourself shot in your sleep. Also, try to make everyone question their faith because people without faith are easy to control.

Step 2
Form friendly allegiances with as many countries as possible. Infiltrate their social and economic infrastructure until you dominate their culture and economic productivity. World domination is best achieved quietly. Use military action only to free oppressed people from oppressive dictators. They'll barely notice when you become their new dictator.

Step 3
Build military bases in allied foreign countries. Offer military protection to all countries in need. Create joint military task forces with foreign powers but ensure that only your generals have the power to make any decisions.

Step 4
Infiltrate unfriendly countries with persuasive individuals, a.k.a. spies, that advance your culture. Build discontent with the status quo while developing an armed rebel alliance. Convince the rebel alliance to topple their government for you, offer financial and military assistance to the new leadership.

Step 5
Keep the excesses and bad habits of your family members out of the public arena. Live reasonably and express concern over the environment, poverty and freedom. Be seen as a ruler who merely wants to make the world a better place, not a despot with the goal of world domination. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Step 6
Exert global domination publicly only if absolutely necessary. Rule the world privately but completely. Squash those who oppose you by discrediting them. Allow students to challenge authority but corrupt the best by giving them high-paying jobs and a pleasant lifestyle. Acknowledge condescendingly, that youth is merely a time of rebellion.

Step 7
Rule the world. Revel in your success at world domination. Play life and death games with your friends, family and perfect strangers. Die knowing that your name is engraved on public buildings. Well, at least until the next evil genius figures out how to rule the world.

...is there more steps I should take? Any other suggestions?
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Re: How to take over the world

Post by zyzzyva980 » June 20th, 2010, 3:34 pm

Here's how I achieve global domination:

Step One: Place troops around the specific continent you wish to conquer first. Also place troops on other continents for when you get there.

Step Two: Take over chosen continent and move on to the next one.

Step Three: Keep spreading outward until all opponents have been defeated. I like to start with the southern hemisphere and work my way eastward after that.

Here are some tips:
-It's sometimes best to let your opponents fight amongst themselves and then quietly take over their countries.
-For each country you take over you may get more troops. When you conquer a continent you receive even more soldiers.
-You can cash in cards for extra soldiers. Do this at a strategic point.
-When you are done reveling in victory, put RISK back into the game box. You can take a picture if you want.
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Re: How to take over the world

Post by blue cobra » June 20th, 2010, 3:40 pm

It seems much easier to convince someone else to do that, then when they gain power, kill them, quietly cause problems, and frame the dissidents, claiming your harsh military tactics are the only solution. Much less work.
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Re: How to take over the world

Post by EpicFailOlympian » June 20th, 2010, 3:51 pm

Take the "CAN YOU TAKE OVER THE WORLD Test" I got 76 conqueresness!
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testi ... 0214075946
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Re: How to take over the world

Post by Paradox21 » June 20th, 2010, 4:32 pm

All your methods are so crude.

Just start a business that makes a product everyone wants/ needs.

It's foolproof, trust me.
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Re: How to take over the world

Post by paleonaps » June 20th, 2010, 4:48 pm

This is how to take over the world:
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Re: How to take over the world

Post by Jocool » June 23rd, 2010, 4:30 pm

no, that destroys the world.
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Re: How to take over the world

Post by starpug » June 23rd, 2010, 4:38 pm

Paradox21 wrote:All your methods are so crude.

Just start a business that makes a product everyone wants/ needs.

It's foolproof, trust me.
Step 1
I'd corner the market in Vuvuzelas, then blast them at countries until they surrender.

edit: I wasn't my intent to be insulting to anyone
Last edited by starpug on June 23rd, 2010, 6:26 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: How to take over the world

Post by M-E-T-H-O-D MAN » June 23rd, 2010, 4:44 pm

Jocool wrote:no, that destroys the world.
I agree. Nowadays there's only one way to conquer the world. And we all know what it is.
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Re: How to take over the world

Post by 3nv1r0nm3ntal ch3m » June 23rd, 2010, 6:05 pm

starpug wrote:
Paradox21 wrote:All your methods are so crude.

Just start a business that makes a product everyone wants/ needs.

It's foolproof, trust me.
Step 1
I'd corner the market in Vuvuzelas, then blast them at countries until they surrender.
I am of African descent, and vuvuzelas are a large part of my culture. i find it very insulting, and i feel personally attacked by the attitude of starpug, I hope that someday the Science Olympiad community will be a fair and just place to all races of people on this earth.

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