Save the person on top of you!

[ThePrudentGuava]

but then they (ironically) spontaneously combust

But then the media chases you for a comment on the story of the firefighters

[2000lby]

then I come and give the lamest quotes so they all leave.

but then I walk past advertisements for the next generation Pokemon games and slip on a banana peel.

[ajohn]

then, a gyrados jumped out of the advertisement and saved you, but then an electrabuzz zapped it and you fell, with the ground rushing toward you very fast...

[pikachu4919]

then Pidgeotto also flies out of the advertisement and flies you away from the battling Electabuzz and Gyrados! but it looks really hungry with you being the only available food source ...

[49ers]

So I quickly reach into my bag and throw him some Berries. Then I realize, we need food because we haven't eaten in a while... like in the last few hundred posts (I am guessing)

[theriddler]

(It's funny because it's true) Luckily, I have a phone with me and can conveniently look up Bear Grylls' techniques of surviving in the wild.
Unfortunately, there was a conspiracy plot for all of Bear Grylls' videos to be deceiving, causing anyone who watches them to get false information and kill themselves by eating poisonous berries (sorry for the run-on sentence).

[49ers]

I teach you some grammar to fix the run-on sentence. Then, to solve the other problem, I pull out a poison cure.
Unfortunately, there's only 1 drop left.

[Cjkowalcz]

I take the one drop of poison cure and put it in a bottle of water to make a lot of watered down poison cure.

Unfortunately, this is less effective than the full on cure so you pass out.

[LittleBlueDragon]

*somehow makes a poison cure elixir*(im a super dragon druid scientist ) But then i dont realize that someone put anabolic steroids,liquified barbituates,and heroin in it while it was sitting on the ground....

[49ers]

So we simply go to the MLB and start playing outfield.
But then the MLB starts rigging games...