Poetry

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detectiveohara
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Poetry

Post by detectiveohara » October 4th, 2008, 2:20 pm

You can post any poetry that you wrote here if you want suggestions/you just want to boast/or whatever.

Here is part of one of my poems. (I have written more for it, but that part needs to be fixed up)

The dragon hears a gentle sigh,
Lifts his head and wonders why,
He was awaken by that quiet breath,
Of the creature that submits to death
Whose skin burns a midnight black,
And runs in fear when you attack.
Hoosier daddy? :P

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Re: Poetry

Post by sciolykid101 » October 4th, 2008, 3:16 pm

detectiveohara wrote: The dragon hears a gentle sigh,
Lifts his head and wonders why,
He was awaken by that quiet breath,
Of the creature that submits to death
Whose skin burns a midnight black,
And runs in fear when you attack.
Pretty good! :D
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Re: Poetry

Post by rocketman1555 » October 4th, 2008, 4:00 pm

post the rest of it, this is really good
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Re: Poetry

Post by gneissisnice » October 4th, 2008, 4:46 pm

Yeah, its very good.
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Re: Poetry

Post by Dark Sabre » October 4th, 2008, 5:56 pm

Dactylic hexameter, elegiac couplets, and hendecasyllabics are where it's at.
Rhyme schemes are over-rated.

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Re: Poetry

Post by detectiveohara » October 4th, 2008, 7:15 pm

rocketman1555 wrote:post the rest of it, this is really good
Wow! Thanks, all of you! I have a bit more to it that needs fixing, but here it is. (The beginning is way better)(I hate the ending of this part, it needs the most work)

He flicks his tail to show he’s mad,
At that human girl or lad,
For disturbing his long, deep sleep,
But then he hears that human weep,
And calms as he feels sympathy,
For the child whose tears form a sea.

Dark Sabre wrote:Dactylic hexameter, elegiac couplets, and hendecasyllabics are where it's at.
Rhyme schemes are over-rated.
I have no idea what that means. xD
Hoosier daddy? :P

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Re: Poetry

Post by rocketman1555 » October 5th, 2008, 12:05 pm

post the whole thing in order

and he's talking about different poetry devices
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Re: Poetry

Post by robotman » October 5th, 2008, 12:06 pm

i like it
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Re: Poetry

Post by detectiveohara » October 5th, 2008, 12:08 pm

rocketman1555 wrote:post the whole thing in order

and he's talking about different poetry devices
The dragon hears a gentle sigh,
Lifts his head and wonders why,
He was awaken by that quiet breath,
Of the creature that submits to death
Whose skin burns a midnight black,
And runs in fear when you attack,
He flicks his tail to show he’s mad,
At that human girl or lad,
For disturbing his long, deep sleep,
But then he hears that human weep,
And calms as he feels sympathy,
For the child whose tears form a sea.

That's what I thought, but I still don't know exactly what they are. :D
Hoosier daddy? :P

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Re: Poetry

Post by robotman » October 5th, 2008, 12:22 pm

neither do i
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