Scioly Assassination 152: Doofenshmirtz Evil, Incorporated!

[Assassinator]

Doofenshmirtz Evil, Incorporated!
Booknerd the Bear falls through the roof of the penthouse, right into a large Staples box left carelessly(?) in the middle of the floor. Doofenshmirtz bursts out of a nearby pile of crumpled paper, and tapes the box shut. "Ah, Booknerd the Bear, I was hoping you'd arrive! It's a lovely afternoon, isn't it? Just the right weather for an evil scheme! You... can you hear me all right from in there? Okay, good. Backstory time!

"When I was a boy growing up in Gimmelshtump, my family was too poor to afford paper to write or draw on. So, when I grew too old to guard the garden as a gnome, I was given the job of making paper from old wood scraps. It was awful! All day and all night, grinding up the wood, soaking it, pressing it, and hanging it! It smelled awful, and it was exhausting--but the worst part was the papercuts. Whenever I took down the large paper sheets to cut them into 8 and 1/2 by 11 pages, I would get a papercut somewhere on my hand. It was never the same location, either--by the end of a week, my hand would burn too much to hold the scissors properly, so I had to cut the pages with my teeth!

"My goody-two-shoes brother, Roger, never had to do any of the work, since he was our mother's faaavorite. He never had to experience the excruciating pain of a paper corner slicing his skin! So now, behold, the PAPER-CUT-INATOR!" A spotlight turns on above what seems to be a giant copy machine. "With this, I can fire slices of paper up to ten miles, at bullet speed! All I need to do is aim towards his office, press the button, and--wait, Booknerd the Bear, you're still in that box, aren't you. Here, I'll let you out so you can see--oh, you ripped your way out yourself? Good." Booknerd the Bear gazes at the Paper-Cut-Inator in awe for a couple seconds, noticing it suspiciously pointed toward k1208438's apartment--then socks Doofenshmirtz across the room. Thinking quickly, the doctor climbs onto the Paper-Cut-Inator, cackling, "How would you like to feel death by a thousand papercuts?" He activates the machine, and it rumbles--and then grinds to a halt. "What? A paper jam?!" Booknerd the Bear sees the pressure building up in the machine, and takes the opportunity to leap out the window, paragliding to safety as the Paper-Cut-Inator explodes. A-gent B!

Back at O.W.C.A. headquarters, Major Monogram radios the agents from a remote location. "Good job, Other Agent B. Who knows who would have been caught up in the collateral damage, as the wind blows the paper around. Anywho, lately it seems that Doofenshmirtz has been disrupting our communications and internet link. We're not sure what this means, but it can't be good. Find out what he's up to so Carl can stop complaining about getting kicked from Fall Guys."

[sciolyperson1]

I thought I'd mention that the Planty the Potted Plant remark makes me think of my Among Us moniker, Plantbebe. I also tried to be officer (Fyren the Fennec Fox ) before, so it could show that I'm the backup. Not sure who here other than Booknerd would know about the above, though.

Fyren the phoenix

I would have done that if phoenix started with an F and not a P. Also, it's not a real animal, so I don't know if it would count.

Fyren the Feenix

[twoplustwoisten]

The tiny characters are A h , l a l y t s h D oofen.
Fun Fact! Death by a thousand cuts, also known as lingchi, is a Chinese torture and execution method! You can probably tell how it works, based on the name!

Back at O.W.C.A. headquarters, Major Monogram radios the agents from a remote location. "Good job, Other Agent B. Who knows who would have been caught up in the collateral damage, as the wind blows the paper around.

Code: Select all

[size=50]A[/size]nyw[size=50]h[/size]o[size=50],[/size] [size=50]l[/size][size=50]a[/size]te[size=50]l[/size][size=50]y[/size] i[size=50]t[/size] [size=50]s[/size]eems t[size=50]h[/size]at [size=50]D[/size][size=50]oofen[/size]shmirtz 

has been disrupting our communications and internet link. We're not sure what this means, but it can't be good. Find out what he's up to so Carl can stop complaining about getting kicked from Fall Guys."

[Torchic]

Ooo interesting game so far

Back at O.W.C.A. headquarters, Major Monogram radios the agents from a remote location. "Good job, Other Agent B. Who knows who would have been caught up in the collateral damage, as the wind blows the paper around. Anywho, lately it seems that Doofen shmirtz has been disrupting our communications and internet link. We're not sure what this means, but it can't be good. Find out what he's up to so Carl can stop complaining about getting kicked from Fall Guys."

A h , l a l y t s h D oofen Are the letters that have been shrunk to size 50
A h , l a l y t s h D oofen (The ls are Ls)

nyw o te i eems t at (and perhaps shmirtz) are the letters that seem to have been left alone

"Find out what he's up to so Carl can stop complaining about getting kicked from Fall Guys." - This seems to be a Mr. Beast Reference from perhaps one of the videos regarding Fall Guys on the gaming channel

I think those are the main points of importance

Edit: Oop someone already did the letters

[Booknerd]

Maybe the capitalization/uncapitalized letters are a binary pattern? Just throwing ideas out there

[Booknerd]

Maybe the capitalization/uncapitalized letters are a binary pattern? Just throwing ideas out there

you were right, it's a baconian cipher: BAAAB ABBBA ABBAB BAAAA ABAAB BBBBB

I'll protect bernard for the reason that the bacon spells out "spork?"

[k1208438]

Also, we demand to know what reason sciolyperson protected sneepity, seems sus tbh

[twoplustwoisten]

Also, we demand to know what reason sciolyperson protected sneepity, seems sus tbh

TA-DAH!

oops didnt see clue, was taking a nap

I protect Sneepity because Sneepity

[Booknerd]

Just a note: the sassy profile says "Hating block schedules" under interests.

[sciolyperson1]

Just a note: the sassy profile says "Hating block schedules" under interests.

lmfao, ftr im not sassy btw